Be Grateful

Hello everyone, how are you today?

Making an opening for a post has always been difficult for me. So can I just start it even without an opening? Bah, of course. At least I've greeted you. :p

Well, right now I'm at the end of my last years of high school. Woah time flies so damn fast. It seems if my first day of high school was just yesterday, but you know what? I have just been graduated last week :')

Actually, I want to share some stories about my last year in high school. Too many damn things happen in this freaking year! There are ups and downs of course. But I will tell you more specifically about those stories where I'd really been dropped and upset about life. Those moments when my tears are out of sock and I could not even cry anymore. 

But unfortunately I will not tell you that series of unforunate events. I don't want if this post will be a mellow one :p. I just want to write how those sad stories softly changed myself. Probably as soft as your new teddy bear, eh. They got me thinking about the meaning of life, about growing up, and everything.

Too many things make me realize about the one thing I have to make it better, myelf. Too many things make me realize even when I was down, Allah was always be there for me. He guides me through everything, even when everyone didn't even give me their hand . He strengthen me, even when the condition was getting worse. That's how universe works. One must go through a test that Allah gave, but always believe that He will not give someone a test that they couldn't handle. Then again, that's how universe works. Just believe Him.

Life taught me to be more grateful, for not complaining about our life. Life convinced me that every thing happen for a reason. So, everytime I have to go through a test I will not be sad anymore, otherwise I will bring myself to discover lessons under those tests.

Nah, this post technically still have a relation with my previous post. People change, and so do I. I don't want to be called child or childish anymore. I don't want to stop changing. Even in college, I'm sure there will be more adventorous adventures to come. Just remember that this is the only way to prove everyone that you've grown up. Change.

Let's grow up together!

People Change, and so do I

Hello to the person reading this blog. It's been almost two years since my last post in this blog. But first, sorry for my bad grammar which hasn't really been improved yet, but you have to endure it because I will use it till the end of this post. :p

I haven't posted anything in such a poor place for almost two year. I even have only checked it twice this year. Don't get me wrong, I will not just leave this very poor blog like that. Sometimes I felt like I have to write something again to bring this poor blog coming back to life.

First thing first, I have to get my feel back toward this blog, so I re-read all my previous posts. But you know what? When I read those post I literally let out a gasp. I mean, how could I wrote such a nonsense story, like, is this really me who have written all of that creepy shit? I even deleted some posts which I think it's too embarassing to be published to public. Lucky for you who still have a chance to read them before I deleted it.

But it reminds me that people do change. No matter how hard we deny it, sooner or later, conscious or unconscious, at the end we are not really the person we were in the last year, or last week, or even one minute ago. Rediscovering my previous posts got me thinking that I've changed. It's me absolutely who have written them, yet she isn't exactly me. It's like someone just puts a mirror right in front of me and forces me to look at myself. Oh my! How big myself has changed. It had transitioned so smoothly that I couldn't even notice that. I wasn't a kid like ten years ago, I'm seventeen in this very moment, and there will be a new me in ten years after.

But the point is, you are still you after all. It's not life who changed you, but you who changed your perspective toward life, about the way you see things and people. This post that I thought is good enough maybe will be embarassing if I read it in ten years from now. So don't be afraid to change. You need it because that's the way life guide us to make us more alive.

Woaaah it's too long for my first post. I hope there will be more posts to come. Have a good day!

The Beginning of the Most Tiring Year

Let's do everything we want before the times bring you to that tons of shit out there! me always wishing that every single times of my life could be easily filled by a bowl of happiness everyday. But the times keep running, bringing us to the day we would never expect before. 

Well, everyone have their own chance to feel such a happiness moment of their life even just a bit. It comes as a stepping-stone while we had to face something that we might call as the worst moment somewhat. But it's getting pretty cruel when it made us forget about everything we have to face in the future latter. Or let's say that all of that things made us felt like a dont-know-what-to-do person when it's end. Has anyone felt the same eh? or you guys just didn't know what I was just sayin' because you think that I came from the other planet with my fucking words that almost impossible to be felt by everyone here. Geez!

Okey, but now I want you to look at the title. See? Yeap, my time to start has came. In the beginning I felt like absolutely nothing, yap nothing to do again with this world. Because I have been thinking about something worst might happens tomorrow or one of my tomorrows while I was starting my life with everything new in a different digit of year. Yeah I feel sooo damn scared about facing every single obstacles that I dont know when it comes to block my way. I'm scared if one day I was on the top and that shit suddenly comes and makes me fall. I've felt it, and I know exactly how it feel. I felt like I couldnt deal with life, I felt like I was done with this world. It's so damn paintful! Aaargh I dont even know, how that shit keep me on stress. 

I know that writing such an unmeaningful story is just useless, it's nonsense. The point is just because by doing this activities makes me know how bad I was on the condition where I was on the low position on the life-wheel. It makes me want to change myself, to bring back the old me when I got my spirit before that time of shit took it away. I know that it's fucking difficult and need a lot of time, but I know the fact that I can get it back, because it's mine. Something I have, will be my own and nothing can throw it.

So yeah! Stay positive on every problems that comes. That's the point.We might fall, but we must rise again. Miley said that "Life is a climb!" so, climb every mountain in front of us, and get the best view from it!

Remember that, a series of the most tiring year has just begun. LEGGOOOOO!!



  

Memang Harusnya Begitu (Aku dan Tuhanku)

Irama tak bernada dari gemericiknya

Mencekatku dalam harmoni penciptanya

Kini, hanya aku dan Dia

Malu itu mengabut tak mampu ku menutup

Malu karna tlah lalai memuliakan-Nya

Tenggelam kelam dalam euforia alam semu

Ijinkan lenganku merengkuhMu

Ijinkan tanganku menggores namaMu di setiap sudut otakku

Meramu agung namaMu di relung hati dan aliran nadiku

Kini, hanya aku dan Engkau

Sesalku masih tak bermuara

Terus berotasi di sela fikirku

Bahkan retorikaku terdengar kaku membeku

Saat mulut ini tak mampu berkomentar

Jiwaku mati menanti arti

Terkesiap dalam harap-harap senyap

Kini, hanya aku dan Tuhanku

Khilaf merasuk syaraf memohon maaf

Mengais asa dalam bayang paradigma

Seharusnya, memang hanya aku dan Tuhanku

Kudekap kuat sunyi ini bersamaMu

Layaknya frase yang kuat terikat

Ibarat atom yang saling bereaksi

Karena memang harusnya begitu,                                   

Hanya aku dan Tuhanku 

kelas bahasa indonesia 30-11-12

A whole different world

Ohayoo.. ngga kerasa ya, udah 3 tahun ngerasain pait manisnya masa putih biru. Yap, masa putih abu-abu is waitin' vo ya. Be ready cause a whole different world will be begun.

Sering banget denger anak SMP yang mau lulus bilang "Ah paling enak ya masa SMP, kalo SMA udah terlalu serius, ngga bisa santai." Tapi kenyataannya, anak SMA dan kebanyakan orang yang pernah ngalamin masa putih abu-abu bilang kalo SMA is worth more than everything.

"Masa SMA emang yang paling enak, walaupun banyak moment ngga enak nya, but we will see, Senior High School is the best thing that's ever happened to us. That's it." kata salah seorang kakak kelas.

So, kenapa harus takut? Memang banyak sih berita-berita di socmed yang bilang kalo banyak siswa SMA yang masuk ke pergaulan yang salah, banyak anak SMA yang dibully kakak kelasnya, banyak yang berhenti sekolah karena takut. But, the point is, itu semua tergantung kita mau menanggapinya bagaimana. Kalo kita bisa jaga diri, ngga bakal deh ada istilah pergaulan bebas. Kalo masalah takut sama kakak kelas, kenapa harus takut? Toh mereka juga sama derajatnya kaya kita. Let it flow aja, the wheels are still turning, right?

Eh gaje deh, judulnya ngga nyatu. Sebenernya maksud nulis entri ini mau cerita masa SMAku yang 180 derajat beda banget sama waktu SMP. Tapi awalannya dikasih kata pengantar dulu biar sip (?)

It's a whole different world of mine, wait... apanya yang beda? Banyaaak. Pertama, seragamnya beda (oke, yang ini semua orang udah tau-_-). Kedua, temen-temen dan gurunya beda semuaa. Terus sampai hal yang lebih spesifik, kaya berangkat sekolah sendiri, mandi pake air dingin, tinggal pisah sama orang tua, nyetrika baju sendiri, dan banyak hal lain lagi. Yap, serasa jungkir balik dunia nya (oke, yang ini lebay)

Enough ya. Huahaha apa ini, pembukanya banyak banget, isinya cuma satu paragraf. K, Welcome to Senior High School. Have a nice 3 years!


Byee~